morning constitutional

Good morning, folks. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the brains behind South Park and Team America: World Police, are writing a Broadway musical about Mormons. We’re bringing you your morning constitutional: Ash spewing from an Icelandic volcano has shut down all flights in U.K. It also caused shutdowns in Ireland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Finland, and has had a ripple effect of shutdowns and cancellations in France, Belgium, the Netherlands and Switzerland. It’s tax day, so, naturally, the tea partiers are out. The 2010 tax day could the best tax day of your life. And, sure, maybe...

Good morning, everybody. Richard Dawkins may want to arrest the Pope, but here’s your morning constitutional: Hundreds have been killed by an earthquake in western China on Wednesday. The earthquakes hit China’s Qinghai province, home mostly to ethnic Tibetans. Another sign the economy is rebounding: Retail sales rose for the third straight month in March by 1.6 percent, a higher rise than economists expected. In the first congressional election since the health care reform bill passed into law, Florida state Sen. Ted Deutch, Democrat, easily beat the Republican, Ed Lynch, who had tried to make the special...

Good morning, everybody. The “brains” behind the the Jersey Shore have concocted another legend, only this time: Massholes. Well, then, on to your morning constitutional: The Dow Jones Industrial Average hit 11,000 yesterday for the first time since September 2008, a hopeful sign that Wall Street believes that the economy is on the right track. Bloomberg reports that the trade deficit widened in February because Americans are purchasing more imports, another sign that the economy is rebounding. From Slate: How the U.S.  economic recovery will be faster and and stronger than anybody expects. Buoyed by Ukraine’s decision...

Good morning, everybody. Phil Mickelson won a funny jacket this weekend. Now, your morning constitutional: Much to the consternation of locals, President Obama is hosting a two-day nuclear security summit in downtown D.C. The times notices that Pakistan is conveniently not on the agenda. Tragedy for Poland this weekend, as Polish president Lech Kaczyński and many of the country’s leaders were killed in a plane crash over Russia. Thailand’s red-shirt protesters marched in the streets again Monday carrying several empty coffins, two days after 21 people died and 800 injured in the worst political violence Thailand has...

Good morning everybody. In an ultimate injustice, the Jersey Shore “kids” have not been welcome at Miami’s hottest spots. Now, your morning constitutional: Rep. Bart Stupak, mostly responsible for a compromise leading to the passage of the health care reform bill, has announced he will not be seeking re-election. Did President Bush, Vice President Cheney and Secretary Rumsfeld cover up the fact that they knew that hundreds of prisoners at Guantánamo Bay were in fact innocent? Lawrence Wilkerson, an aide to then-Secretary Colin Powell, claims that that Cheney and Rumsfeld knew that the majority of the initial...

Good morning, everybody. If you lived in North Korea, you’d be hearing all about how the Dear Leader’s style is now in fashion worldwide because of his greatness. But, since you don’t, here’s your morning constitutional: President Obama and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev signed a major nuclear arms pact this morning in Prague that will reduce the nuclear stockpiles in both countries. It still needs to be ratified by the U.S. Senate, where its future is uncertain, and the Russian Duma. The opposition group in Kyrgyzstan responsible for the recent unrest has apparently taken power, dissolved parliament,...

Good morning, folks. George Lucas and Seth Green are going to make an animated comedy based on Star Wars. Now, your morning constitutional. Correction: Yesterday, we reported that the rules for Scrabble might be changing. Turns out that isn’t the case at all. A major 7.7 magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of the Indonesian island of Sumatra this morning, triggering two tsunamis and injuring several people. No casualties have been reported. Seventeen have been killed in anti-government protests in Kyrgyzstan as police clash with protesters in the nation’s capital. President Kurmanbek Saliyevich Bakiyev has declared a...

Good morning, everybody. Butler only started one senior. Now, your morning constitutional: Prime Minister Gordon Brown has declared the UK general election will be on May 6, an election that may well lead to his ouster. The British National party sure is keeping it classy, that’s for sure. One hundred and fifteen Chinese coal miners were rescued Monday from a  mineshaft that flooded eight days before. The Chinese announced Tuesday that five of the remaining 38 were discovered dead Tuesday morning. In a West Virginia coal mine Monday, a massive explosion left 25 coal miners dead, while...

Good morning, everybody. Tiger’s back, Erin’s going to dance, and Erykah’s getting fined for getting naked. Now, your morning constitutional: Two are dead in Mexico after a magnitude 7.2 earthquake struck Baja California yesterday. The space shuttle Discovery successfully took off this morning, en route to the space station Destiny carrying a crew of seven and ten tons of supplies and equipment. On Opening Night, the Boston Red Sox rallied past the Yankees to win 9-7. Former Red Sox ace Pedro Martinez threw the ceremonial first pitch. Throwing the ceremonial first pitch for Opening Day today for...

Good morning, folks. Here’s your morning constitutional: In the U.K., the Labour Party has decided to use PM Gordon Brown’s reputation for anger and physical aggression to their advantage, rolling out advertisements which portray him as a hard man, willing to take the fight to David Cameron, unafraid of confrontation. Vice President Joe Biden loves him some kickball. Google changes its name. Days until Opening Day: 3.