Morning Constitutional – 15 April 2010

Good morning, folks. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the brains behind South Park and Team America: World Police, are writing a Broadway musical about Mormons. We\’re bringing you your morning constitutional:

Ash spewing from an Icelandic volcano has shut down all flights in U.K. It also caused shutdowns in Ireland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Finland, and has had a ripple effect of shutdowns and cancellations in France, Belgium, the Netherlands and Switzerland.

It\’s tax day, so, naturally, the tea partiers are out. The 2010 tax day could the best tax day of your life. And, sure, maybe 47% of Americans pay no federal taxes, but this number is misleading and distracting.

Cold wintery weather is hampering relief efforts in the earthquake-stricken Chinese province of Qinghai.

An independent panel tasked with investigating the scandal at the University of East Anglia\’s Climactic Research Unit has found that climate scientists did not act improperly or commit scientific malpractice .

As financial regulation reform makes its way to the Senate, the GOP tries to unite in opposition.

Florida Governor Charlie Crist recently avoided a question on whether he would run for Senate as an independent if he lost the Republican primary. Probably for good reason: He stands to win in a three-way general election.

No iPads for Israel.

Dead man beats incumbent for mayor of Tracy City, Tennessee.

Kentucky Senator Jim Bunning has endorsed tea party sweetheart Rand Paul to replace him in the Senate.

The Library of Congress has announced that it will be archiving every public \”Tweet\” ever \”Tweeted.\” This was naturally first announced via Twitter.

How soccer could affect the upcoming U.K. elections.

Polling on the tea party shows the group to be mostly Republican, white, male, married and over 45. And, because it\’s impossible to not quote them:

“I just feel he’s getting away from what America is,” said Kathy Mayhugh, 67, a retired medical transcriber in Jacksonville. “He’s a socialist. And to tell you the truth, I think he’s a Muslim and trying to head us in that direction, I don’t care what he says. He’s been in office over a year and can’t find a church to go to. That doesn’t say much for him.”

“That’s a conundrum, isn’t it?” asked Jodine White, 62, of Rocklin, Calif. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe I don’t want smaller government. I guess I want smaller government and my Social Security.” She added, “I didn’t look at it from the perspective of losing things I need. I think I’ve changed my mind.”

Anyways, finally: A map of pizza, guns and strippers. For real.