Mea Copa – Group C: Days Late, Dollars Short

One of the simultaneously great and awful things about being a soccer fan in the US is that the games are on early Saturday morning. Matches from England and Germany have replaced Captain Nintendo and Saved by the Bell in my life. I wake up, make coffee and settle down in front of the TV to watch a game taking place in a different country, featuring players from all over the world (though rarely the US). I’ll sit there from 745 until — on some glorious Saturdays — 4 or 5, taking in not only matches from England and Germany, but Spain and Italy as well. Breakfast, lunch and a mid-afternoon snack are all eaten while men bound about a field, chasing after a ball. Most American sports fans talk about Sundays, with the three football games available to them being heaven. I generally watch two before my wife gets out of bed.

Of course, one can only have so many TV stations, so occasionally the match I’d like to watch isn’t available from the comfort of my home, or the match is of such import that it demands to be watched with fellow travelers. On these occasions, the dreaded morning bar run must be made. You might think that would be a glorious thing, to wake up early, go to a pub, have a giant Irish or Scottish breakfast and simply begin pouring pints down the throat. And it is. But care must be taken to avoid the all-day-drunk, the drunk that sits around no longer being enjoyable, but like a bad guest who refuses to leave and thus, does not allow any work to get done (aside: I am that guest.) And that doesn’t even take into account the fact that a weekend can be ruined by 930AM if your team manages to lose that early match, and not even the failures of all the teams surrounding it manage to lose, because then all you can think about is the wasted opportunity. God damn, I hate that. Which causes me to drink more, of course.

Even with the pounds of food in the belly, there’s something about having the first pint at 9 or 10 AM that signals the body that this day is going to be a long one. Preparations are made that allow the body to process what it assumes will be an all-day drinking spree, but sadly spreads out the alcohol over a period of something approaching 8 hours. Even something as light as a Stella Artois, which should only be drunk before noon, such is its uselessness as an actual alcoholic beverage, can find you dealing with a bit of haze until you notice the setting sun.

All this is why I don’t bother anymore. Oh, I still go to the games at a bar. I still order the huge breakfasts. I still shout and scream in rapture and despair. I still drink. I just don’t bother stopping those days. Those days are not for work. They are for enjoying the company of fellow fans, wearing out vocal cords, having arguments and making friends. There will be time for work tomorrow. Today is about the game.

Below the fold: Group C

Group C is the group with which we’re all probably the most familiar if you’re a fan of the game. Most Americans know the American team and its English counterpart, since the EPL is the most popular league to watch in the States (this may not be true, and I’m sure the Mexican league has quite a few eyeballs on it, but I’m sticking with it). Every member of England’s team actually plays for the national league, which I can’t imagine being the case for any other team in the tournament. Several Americans also ply or have plied their trade in the top level of English football, notably Tim Howard, who’s long been a rock on the line at Everton, and Clint Dempsey, one of Fulham’s best attacking pieces the last few years. I’ll have more on them as their match approaches next weekend.

There are two other teams in the group as well: Slovenia and Algeria. Slovenia have no one who plays in the EPL, or really anyone who plays in a top league, save one guy who’s made 5 appearances for Italian and European Champions Internazionale and a couple defenders who haven’t played much at fellow Serie A club Chievo. They are frighteningly young as a team though (outside of keepers, only 4 of the remaining 20 players are older than me, which yikes, maybe I’m getting old), so while none of them may be household names yet, they might be soon.

You might know Algeria because of the, um, er, complications involving their play-in with Egypt this spring. If not, let’s just say there was rioting, bus-tipping and a match played in Sudan because no one thought either country could hold the match safely. Let’s ruminate on that for a second: they sent their teams to the fucking Sudan for their own safety. Wow. Also, they are known as the Fennecs, which is a desert fox, which, like, Rommel. They are boring and rather defensive in their style, featuring players whose names at least will be fun to shout as they hack wildly at your favorite players on the US or England.

I didn’t do a proper write-up of this group for a couple reasons: 1. my initial write-up got swallowed Thursday night before I could queue it up. 2. There is going to be a massive (hopefully) preview of Oossa-Ingerland* to go up Friday night, so you can blow away all your friends when you can drink with no consequences IN PUBLIC from 730AM (serious fans/drinkers only for the Good Korea/Greece match, though to be fair if you’re up watching it, you’ll want to be drinking) or 1000AM, which brings Argentina/Nigeria as a great warm-up for the main event at 230PM.

As for the group itself, it would be a shock if England didn’t win the group, and London will burn to the ground if they don’t make it out of the round. That said, the US does have a chance if it can come out blazing and hold the English attack at bay for the first 45. That’s for another day. I can’t see either Slovenia or the Rommels actually getting to the knockouts, but then, that’s why the play the games.

*One of my favorite names for the USMNT (which always looks just close enough to TMNT to my eyes) is Oossa, Oosa or Oosah. I hope you can figure out why they have that name.