I wanted to make a turkey meatloaf, but goddamn is turkey meatloaf terrible. Dry, tough, tasting mostly of bland poultry and salt—turkey meatloaf is basically the worst kind of “healthy” replacement foods. I thought what if it could be not dry and taste like something? There began Operation Turkey Meatloaf Experiment 2017. So I threw together some ingredients, mostly orthodox but with some added moisture supports and flavor elements that tasted like something. It came out…good? I was surprised: It was supposed to be fine, but not good. Turkey meatloaf is not good. But this was. Damn....
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Your Official V+V Sunday Super Tuesday Super Bowl Election Caucus Forum Trumphgasm Cocktails
Hooray. Today is Super fucking Tuesday or whatever. Truth is, calling a date during which state parties in 11 states vote “Super Tuesday” is like calling the Wild Card Round of the NFL playoffs the “Super Bowl(s?).” Whatever. I mean, at this point, this whole fucking 2016 cycle is pictured below: Or, more eloquently: If you’re anything like the V+V fam, you’re probably going to want to have some drinks as results come in from these primary elections and caucuses. Like, probably a whole lot of drinks. Ted Cruz is going to be saying words on national...
Continue reading...It’s cold outside, so it’s time for a hot toddy
As it is the time of year we celebrate the birthday of our hallowed first president, many of us have been gifted the treasured three-day weekend. And since I have been gifted three days off in a row, my immune system has found it necessary to gift me in return a gnarly rhinovirus. Being sick, though, is a great excuse to use whiskey as medicine. Now, please do not take medical advice from me. Get your medical advise from doctors, not bloggers or huckster celebrities. Come to think of it, don’t take medical advice from huckster celebrities...
Continue reading...You Better Be Hungry: Polpette (Meatballs)
I’m not very good at a great many things. Despite my median height and more-than-median girth, I’m not very good at basketball (ghost will second this enthusiastically). My chess game lacks an endgame. I never beat Contra. I’m really, really, really bad at tennis (sorry, jack burden). But, there some things at which I excel. I’m a good driver. I’m at expert level on Wii Tennis. I’m currently on level 25 of Quizup Simpsons trivia. Oh, and I can cook some good foods. So, shit, why not tell you how to cook some good foods? Thus, here’s a new...
Continue reading...Things I Drink And So Should You: Ft. Snow and the French 75
I am not a winter person. I’m not. I hate it. Worse: I‘m one of those people who constantly reminds everyone around them that I hate winter and think it’s awful. If you are among the thousands of people I have accosted with my rantings against, of all things (really, of all things), weather, I apologize. I will do it again, and soon, but I am sorry for having done it. It is regrettable. I hate winter for so many reasons: all of the reasons. It’s dark all the time. It’s cold. It’s damned treacherous on occasion....
Continue reading...Things I Drink and So Should You: The Mint Julep
There’s a woman in my church who wears a proper church crown. I call it that because it deserves the name. It’s a royal blue, straw hat with plastic sunflowers emanating from the brim. She wears it proud, as each year of the 93 she’s been alive has earned her the right to wear it, and nothing could take that crown from her head. I wish we lived in an era where it were not only appropriate but fashionable for women to wear church crowns. Hell, as a pastor, I wish it were fashionable for women to...
Continue reading...Things I Drink And So Should You: The Bloody Mary
I was on vacation all week, which was fantastic. I watched the marathon on Monday, went on a date with my wonderful wife in the middle of the week, caught up on reading and sleep, and, sadly, discovered that I am not as hangover-proof as I thought. I have simple rules to prevent hangovers, and they are generally effective and easy to implement. But when I have nothing to do the next day, actually going through those motions doesn’t seem quite so urgent and I let them slide. It was at this point that I discovered I...
Continue reading...Things I Drink And So Should You: The Charles River Highball
It is Easter weekend, which is about the busiest my calendar gets every year. I have hardly had time to breathe this week, let alone read this blog, never mind contribute. The craziness of my schedule has even prevented me from doing that which I love most: watch sports and drink. And that all ends Sunday afternoon. Every Easter, I throw a Resurrection Barbecue, where we throw some ham on the grill, dressed in our Sunday best, drinking beer and, more importantly, breaking out the greatest summer drink you\’ve never had: The Charles River Highball. The Charles...
Continue reading...Things I Drink, And So Should You: The Negroni
Because this place needs another regular feature, I’m here, every Friday afternoon, to tell you that what you drink sucks. Being married to an Italian can be fantastic. The food is amazing. The scenery, when in Italy rather than on Mott St. or in the North End, can be breathtaking. The language, the art … seriously, it’s a good deal, even without considering the individual Italian with whom I chose to spend the time before she decides to divorce me. The drinking, however. If you’re not careful, you can find yourself beyond sauced before the bruschetta shows...
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