So you’re the unpopular governor of a state that hasn’t been doing well, and you’re having some issues in your reelection campaign. Your opponent is the relatively unpopular former governor, whose rank opportunism led him to switch parties. Yet, you’re polling neck-and-neck. Of course, the proper thing to do if you’re Florida Governor Rick Scott is to refuse to participate in the gubernatorial debate because your opponent, former governor Charlie Crist, had a little fan put in the base of his lectern. Because being a petulant little bitch is a good way to appeal to Florida voters? The Tampa Bay Times...
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We’re only 65% sure that Rep. Vance MacAllister’s wife is not being held hostage hashtag blessed
First, I want you to look at this: [there used to be an image here, but it has been eaten by internet rot] That’s U.S. soccer superstar Landon Donovan while appearing on ESPN during this summer’s World Cup. That’s also the face of a man that we’re pretty sure is being held hostage and is reading his captors’ demands. Now, we have another super creepy and weird political ad today (earlier). This one is from Louisiana Representative Vance MacAllister, who really, really wants to remind you that he and his wife a super-duper Christians hashtag blessed. You...
Continue reading...Weird and creepy political ad is weird and creepy
Here’s a new gem for the archives in the annals of weird-ass political ads. In this one, titled “Dating Profile,” from Americans for Shared Prosperity (some Californian rich guy’s Super PAC) a sad love-worn woman is mad about her boyfriend president. Because the reason women voted for “Barack” was because they were “in love,” because he was “smart, handsome, charming articulate, all the right values.” Weird, though, because she knows she’s stuck with him for two more years (this analogy sure is holding up well), but she know she doesn’t have to hang out with his friends or something...
Continue reading...Candidate for Congress Don Oehlrich wants to change Congress’s diaper
Businessman Don Oehlrich is running for Congress in Florida’s seventh district, currently held by Republican Rep. John Mica. In the above ad, he makes the “clever” analogy between congressmen and diapers: when they’re fresh, they work well, etc. You know where that’s going. Florida’s congressional primary is August 26.
Continue reading...A quick dialogue on immigration
Crito: Meno, why have you come? Meno: I’ve been thinking about immigration. Crito: Oh, yes? What about it? Meno: Well, do you support loosening the immigration system to allow people to come and live in the U.S. and become citizens? Crito: Well, I don’t know. It’s a complicated issue. Meno: Is it, though? Crito: Sure it is. These people are coming from terrible places, and are just pursuing a better life in a more stable and rich country. The U.S. prides itself as a nation of immigrants, but in order to control our border, we have to have...
Continue reading...Politics are Stupid, Moderates Edition
There is no reason this sentence should ever exist: Wyllie (the Libertarian) gets his strongest support from independent voters who back Crist (the Democrat) over Scott (the Republican) 45 – 38 percent in a two-way matchup, but split with 36 percent for Crist and 34 percent for Scott, with 12 percent for Wyllie, in the three-way race. In other words, moderates are pretty much just people who have no fucking clue what the hell they’re voting for.
Continue reading...What’s up with all the Obamacare/court things today?
You may be aware that there’s been some Obamacare news today. At issue is some imprecise language in the law as passed. You see, the Affordable Care Act set up the idea of exchanges, or marketplaces where a consumer could compare and buy health insurance. It was expected that each state would run their own exchange, but if a state couldn’t or wouldn’t, then the federal government would step in an run an exchange. Another part of the law set up a system of subsidies, so that if a customer couldn’t afford health insurance, then the federal government would assist financially....
Continue reading...Most honest campaign ad of all time is also a fake ad
Gil Fulbright is not running for Senate. Gil Fulbright is not from Kentucky. Gil Fulbright is not a real person. He’s the creation of a political group called “Represent Us,” which aims to bring attention to the post-Citizens United atmosphere of legalized bribery and corruption.
Continue reading...All hope has been abandoned, like ballots drifting into the ocean
I keep meaning to link to this story, because, holy shit, this is happening right now in Miami: Every year, with the coming of high spring and autumn tides, the sea surges up the Florida coast and hits the west side of Miami Beach, which lies on a long, thin island that runs north and south across the water from the city of Miami. The problem is particularly severe in autumn when winds often reach hurricane levels. Tidal surges are turned into walls of seawater that batter Miami Beach’s west coast and sweep into the resort’s storm...
Continue reading...Watch: President Bush gets older, falls from the sky
For his 90th birthday, President George H. W. Bush was more bad-ass than any of you pip-squeaks, in that he once again went sky-diving. His landing, though, wasn\’t the best: Mr President, you’re going to need to do better if you want to get your Pilotwings A License. Just kidding. I’m in no position to give advice. I certainly ain’t jumping out of the sky anytime soon. You know, on account of how I’m a big wuss.
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