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Happy Friday, everyone. John Stewart is Glenn Beck, upsets apparently abound and if you needed any more, here’s your morning constitutional: Who knew that a move from ‘This Week’ to ‘Good Morning America’ was a promotion? Rep. Steve Cohen with a touching tribute to Alex Chilton. “Oh, I keep the beer in the other fridge.” Nate Silver counts to 216. Tony Judt on Obama, the EU and Transatlanticism. Finally, this is perfect for a beautiful day.

Good morning, folks. Conan might be going to Fox, Tebow’s throwing some balls around, and Jennifer Love Hewitt isn’t that excited about being single. Basketball starts this afternoon, so let’s get on with our morning constitutional: Whoo: Jobs bill passes Senate with 11 Republican votes. Paul Volcker, a former chairman of the Federal Reserve, is mad tall, has an office in the White House but hardly ever uses it, loves fly-fishing and cheap cigars. And he might be the key to solving the world’s financial problems. Whoever said you can’t get a fair shake on Fox News?...

Good morning, everybody. Beckham’s Achilles’ tendon is really torn, Ovechkin is out for two games, and Spencer Pratt is taking some time off to fight cyber crime. Now, enjoy your morning constitutional: California felt some tremors this morning as a 4.4 magnitude earthquake hit about a mile away from Pico Rivera. The Los Angeles Fire Department has received no reports of damage so far. Is Rand Paul the wrong shade of blue? The Pew Project for Excellence in Journalism has released their State of the News Media 2010 report. It claims to be the most interactive it...

Good morning, everybody. Alice is still number one, Jennifer and Jamie broke up, and Jack might be heading over to NBC. Now, enjoy your morning constitutional: Kansas, Kentucky, Duke and Syracuse take number one seeds in NCAA men’s basketball tournament. One of us is officially cheering for a 16-1 upset of UVM over Syracuse. In an op-ed to the Times, Michael Gorbachev defends perestroika and ponders Russia’s future. San Francisco is experimenting with augmented reality with their BART mass transit system. For instance, hold up your iPhone to a BART station and see when the next trains...

Good morning, everyone. Idol’s down to a dirty dozen, Corey’s heart was just too big, and Leno’s back at number one. Now, on to your morning constitutional: From the bad-ass files: In New York state, a 91-year-old pharmacy cashier gets punched fending off a thief, refuses medical attention, says she doesn’t want to just “sit there and be bored.” From the “Science is freaking crazy” files,  NASA says that the Chilean earthquake may have actually shifted Earth’s axis. Yesterday, Sens. Dick Durbin and Jeff Sessions announced they had reached a compromise on eliminating the 200-1 sentencing disparity...

Good morning, everybody. Charlie Sheen says it never happened, and A.C. Slater is having a baby. Now, enjoy your morning constitutional: The Virginia General Assembly has moved to make it illegal for the government to require people to buy health insurance, a move clearly in response to current health reform efforts in Washington. Girl in Mississippi wants to bring her girlfriend to the prom. School’s response: Cancel prom. Ezra Klein gives an interesting history of the filibuster. It even involves Aaron Burr, a personal hero of mine. Chile inaugurates a new president today, conservative billionaire Sebastian Pinera....

Good morning, everybody. Nomar’s retiring as a Red Sox, Lindsay Lohan is suing, and De Niro’s going to play Vince Lombardi. Now, enjoy your morning constitutional: Teen star Corey Haim died of an apparent overdose in Los Angeles last night. An Associated Press-GfK poll shows the President is still more popular than Congress. In Wichita, a man paid a crack dealer with Monopoly money. Unsurprisingly, the dealer wasn’t happy about it. The arrest of a Pennsylvania woman in October for trying to recruit Islamic terrorists on sites like YouTube raises questions about homegrown terrorism. Bike directions have...

Good morning, everybody. Betty White’s going to host SNL, T.I. drops a new single, and Sean Penn might hope you die screaming of rectal cancer. Now, on to your morning constitutional: In California, Republican state Sen. Roy Ashburn, arrested for drunk driving this weekend after leaving a gay nightclub, admitted Monday that he is, in fact, gay. The Christian Science Monitor asks where gay Republicans fit among conservatives. Elizabeth Green, in The New York Times Magazine, asks what makes a good teacher. Despite a Texas Republican primary last week that drew the most GOP voters in at...

Good morning, everybody. The Dude was the best actor, Annie was the best actress, and The Hurt Locker was the best picture. Now, please enjoy your morning constitutional: Iraqis voted in large numbers Sunday, according to the New York Times, despite mortar and rocket attacks, a hopeful sign that the insurgency’s strategy is wearing thin and obsolete. President Obama is expected to announce his choice of retired Army Gen. Robert Harding to lead the Transportation Security Administration today, according to the AP. Harding served in the Army for 33 years, and had been the top human intelligence officer...