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Good morning, folks. George Lucas and Seth Green are going to make an animated comedy based on Star Wars. Now, your morning constitutional. Correction: Yesterday, we reported that the rules for Scrabble might be changing. Turns out that isn’t the case at all. A major 7.7 magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of the Indonesian island of Sumatra this morning, triggering two tsunamis and injuring several people. No casualties have been reported. Seventeen have been killed in anti-government protests in Kyrgyzstan as police clash with protesters in the nation’s capital. President Kurmanbek Saliyevich Bakiyev has declared a...

Good morning, everybody. Butler only started one senior. Now, your morning constitutional: Prime Minister Gordon Brown has declared the UK general election will be on May 6, an election that may well lead to his ouster. The British National party sure is keeping it classy, that’s for sure. One hundred and fifteen Chinese coal miners were rescued Monday from a  mineshaft that flooded eight days before. The Chinese announced Tuesday that five of the remaining 38 were discovered dead Tuesday morning. In a West Virginia coal mine Monday, a massive explosion left 25 coal miners dead, while...

Good morning, everybody. Tiger’s back, Erin’s going to dance, and Erykah’s getting fined for getting naked. Now, your morning constitutional: Two are dead in Mexico after a magnitude 7.2 earthquake struck Baja California yesterday. The space shuttle Discovery successfully took off this morning, en route to the space station Destiny carrying a crew of seven and ten tons of supplies and equipment. On Opening Night, the Boston Red Sox rallied past the Yankees to win 9-7. Former Red Sox ace Pedro Martinez threw the ceremonial first pitch. Throwing the ceremonial first pitch for Opening Day today for...

Good morning, folks. Here’s your morning constitutional: In the U.K., the Labour Party has decided to use PM Gordon Brown’s reputation for anger and physical aggression to their advantage, rolling out advertisements which portray him as a hard man, willing to take the fight to David Cameron, unafraid of confrontation. Vice President Joe Biden loves him some kickball. Google changes its name. Days until Opening Day: 3.

Good morning, folks. Jesse James is going to rehab, there will be a Hangover sequel, and Matt Damon is going to guest star on 30 Rock. Now, your morning constitutional: The Obama administration will propose opening large swathes of the eastern Gulf of Mexico to natural gas and oil exploration and drilling. The price of oil has risen over the last year, mostly a result of investor activity. The New York Times, however, reports that oil prices are stable and are at a good place for the world economy. The Serbian Parliament passed a resolution condemning the...

Good morning, everybody. Ricky’s gay, Sandra’s dumping Jesse, but, worry not!, Heidi and Spencer are staying together. Now, your morning constitutional: President Obama will sign changes to student lending into law today. The changes will replace the current system of the government giving loans through private lenders and instead provide loans directly to students. The CERN Large Hadrom Collider succeeded Tuesday morning in colliding particles at three times the highest energy levels ever recorded. Of course, I have absolutely no idea what that means. Members of the League for Democracy Party in Myanmar voted to skip the country’s...

Good morning, folks. Butler, West Virginia, Duke and Michigan State: What in the—? Anyways, here’s your morning constitutional: President Obama made an unannounced trip to Afghanistan on Sunday to meet with President Karzai and address the troops stationed there. Two female suicide bombers blew themselves up on Moscow Metro subway trains this morning, killing at least 36. An obituary for ‘Cap and Trade.’ Seven have been arrested in Michigan, Ohio and Indiana in raids by a FBI-led Joint Terrorism Task Force on the militia group Hutaree, a self-described Christian militia, this weekend. They are expected to appear...

Good morning, everybody. How about those games last night? Sorry about your brackets, though. Now, your morning constitutional: Russian bombers were intercepted in British airspace. Is Russia’s military getting bolder? Protesters in Iraq are demanding a manual recount of votes in the recent election. The economics of an aging populace. The Obama administration announces plans to help homeowners. A caucus system in Utah that favors conservatives could imperil Sen. Bennett’s reelection hopes. Former militiaman urges people to vandalize offices of members of Congress who voted for health care reform. Calls himself a “Christian libertarian” but cashes government...

Good morning folks. We got a lot of news to get through, so sit down and shut up. Here’s your morning constitutional: Republicans overnight have forced the Senate to adopt changes to at least two provisions in the health care reform fix bill, citing parliamentary issues, which would require it to be sent back to the House for approval before passage. The two provisions both are related to higher education funding. Yesterday, the U.S. Supreme Court stayed the execution of Henry Skinner pending a decision to take up his appeal, which would allow his defense access to...

Good morning, everybody. Jesse’s hoping for a reconciliation with Sandra, and James “The Anti-Christ” Cameron wants to debate Glenn “f—ing a–hole” Beck. And here’s your morning constitutional: The Senate begins a 20-hour debate over fixes to the the the health care reform bill today as Republicans try one last time to make arguments against the fixes. One often overlooked, but possibly very important, piece of the health care bill requires chain restaurants nationwide to post calorie counts for all menu items. Christian Science Monitor has an excellent series detailing the provisions of the health care reform bill....