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Good morning, everybody. Lady Gaga’s meat dress will be made into jerky for archival purposes. Now, your morning constitutional: Senate Democrats give up trying to vote on extension of Bush tax cuts before the November elections. Senator Mary Landrieu has pledged to block the confirmation of President Obama’s new budget director unless the administration ends the moratorium on deep-water oil drilling is lifted. Ireland’s economy contracted by 1.2%  in the second quarter of the year, surprising analysts who had expected it to grow. British Queen Elizabeth asked if money earmarked for schools and poverty programs could be...

Good morning, folks. Wyclef Jean has given up trying to become the president of Haiti so he can promote his new album. Now, your morning constitutional: A defense authorization bill failed in the Senate yesterday that contained a repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, the DREAM Act, as well as a pay raise for military personnel. Lawrence Summers, President Obama’s top economic adviser, is set to leave the administration by the end of the year. Should be noted that this was planned, and that Harvard has a two-year rule of absence after which tenure ends....

Good morning, folks. Planet Michael, a virtual world devoted to Michael Jackson’s life, is being developed. Now, your morning constitutional: The Senate will take up a Defense Authorization Act today that includes a repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy forbidding gays and lesbians from serving in the military. Letting all the Bush tax cuts expire could come close to balancing the budget. House Republicans plan to unveil a campaign blueprint later this week, which they hope will show that Republicans have an agenda to govern beyond merely stopping the White House. Adults under 30 are...

Good morning, everybody. Lindsay failed another drug test. Now, your morning constitutional: The busted oil well in the Gulf of Mexico is finally plugged for good. President Obama will revive its defense and support of the health care reform passed earlier, with a number of changes taking effect this week, including the elimination of co-payments for preventative services and allowing people to stay on their parents’ insurance until they’re 26. The Sweden Democrats, Sweden’s far-right party, won seats in the Swedish parliament for the first time, denying the ruling center-right coalition enough seats to form a majority...

Good morning, everybody. Did you know Lady Gaga is the most-searched-for woman on the Internet? Well, here’s your morning constitutional: The success of the tea party groups is forcing Republicans to revise their playbooks for 2012. Karachi, Pakistan’s largest city, is shut down after Imran Farooq, the exiled leader of the Muttahida Qaumi Movement, was stabbed in London. President Obama is expected to announce today that he will appoint Elizabeth Warren to lead the new consumer financial protection bureau. The Great Recession has driven the poverty rate to its highest in 15 years. The Senate yesterday passed...

Good morning, everybody. Lou Reed made Susan Boyle cry. Now, your morning constitutional: In San Bruno, California, a natural gas line ruptured, causing a massive fire that has so far killed six and engulfed at least 53 homes and sent fireballs shooting through the air. The fire raging west of Boulder, Colorado, continues to burn, and officials are concerned that high winds may push the fire toward the city. U.S. District Court Judge Virginia A. Phillips has ruled that the military’s ban on openly gay service members from serving in the arms forces is unconstitutional. Afghan protests...

Good morning, everybody. David Letterman would like to kill that Jon Stewart bastard. Now, your morning constitutional: Thousands have been evacuated from areas west of Boulder as a 7,100-acre wildfire blazes out of control. The report from BP’s own investigation into the Deepwater Horizon explosion and oil spill unsurprisingly focuses on blaming other companies rather than their own negligence. Fidel Castro criticizes Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for denying the Holocaust and escalating conflict between Iran the West. Taxpayers in New Jersey, as well as other places in the country, are still paying for stadiums that have been...