The best of 2011

10. The revival of the American auto companies

9. Watch the Throne

8. French fried potatoes

7. President Obama

6. Fucked Up – David Comes to Life

5. Marriage equality in New York

4. OWS

3. Arab Spring

2. The end of the Iraq war

1. Osama bin Laden, Muammar Qadaffi and Kim Jong-il dead. Muhammad Hosni Sayyid Mubarak, Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, and Ali Adullah Saleh driven from power.

Poem of the week: If

Happy birthday, Rudyard Kipling, born this day in 1865.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

The worst of 2011

10. Tie: Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Herman Cain

9. Debt ceiling.

8. Whitney.

7. Fracking.

6. The Republican Party.

5. People on elevators who can’t look up from their smart phones long enough to know that this is their floor.

4. Europe.

3. Sandusky.

2. Assad/Syria.

1. Joplin, Irene, Fukushima, Washi.

The Agenda

Pretty good economic news today sends stocks higher.

But, seriously, Europe: you’re getting annoying.

The story of one cut, chosen seemingly at random, from the UK budget.

I am very much against this new calendar idea, probably for the sole reason that it would mean that only 2/7 of us would have birthdays on weekends ever again.

“Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don’t have to buy from a foreign source.” — Gov. Rick Perry

Romney’s (unsurprisingly) still up big in New Hampshire. Romney’s also back on top nationally, but I still have no idea when the national primary is.

Funny, I just the other day told Ghost that I was surprised that Santorum hadn’t surged yet, and if there was enough time, he’d be next. Turns out I’m kind of right.

“You can have opacity and an industrial economy, or you can have transparency and herd goats”

The owners of Panda Express are looking to revolutionize dry cleaning.

How to deal with slow walkers

This is both ingenious and potentially life-changing.

Enjoy this sonic assault on somehow all your senses

Yesterday, I drove the 450-or-so miles from Ghost’s place in Boston back to mine in D.C. (Driving: How do you people do that everyday?). A result of my totally scientific study of said drive has proven, beyond any doubt, that the worst drivers on the east coast hail from Maryland.

Traffic was pretty ridiculous at times, and the whitest™ moment of my life was being be frustrated by the traffic—because it meant I wouldn’t make it to Trader Joe’s on time.

Anyways, after about nine hours of podcasts (thank you, Ira Flatow, for making most of this bearable), I needed something a little more to get through the last hour or so. And that’s when I decided that techno metal (or whatever this genre is called*) is my new favorite kind of music.

* “Hybrid metal trance?” Okay.

Hope everybody’s enjoying their Kwanzaa.

Nobody will give a fuck about Ron Paul in a month. Seriously.

This little girl is smarter than most of you

We keep the “mass” in Christmass, so get to mass, jerks

While we’re out fighting the War on Christmas, here’s the best Christmas song in existence. Enjoy.

Here’s a frog trying to catch bugs on a touchscreen phone

This is fun. Carry on.

For all the money we’re spending, we may as well give it away

Mike Konzal at Rortybomb:

Let’s take the case of student debt and the tax code. How much would it cost to make public colleges and universities free? Rough estimates (quoting Jeffrey Sach’s latest book) put the price of free public higher education at $15-$30 billion, which fits other estimates I’ve seen.

Now what are the costs of how we subsidize higher education through the tax code? There’s already the $1.4 from the interest exemption. Also from subsidyscope, there’s the exclusion of employer-provided educational assistance ($1.1 billion), exclusion of interest on student-loan bonds ($0.6 billion), exclusion of scholarship and fellowship income ($3.0 billion), exclusion of tax on earnings of qualified tuition programs: savings account programs ($0.6 billion), the HOPE tax credit ($5.4 billion), the Lifetime Learning tax credit ($5.5 billion), parental personal exemption for students age 19 or over($3.4 billion), and state prepaid tuition plans ($1.75 billion). There’s also the stimulus’s American Opportunity Tax Credit($14.4 billion) and some part of the deductibility of charitable contributions (education) ($4.9 billion).

Even without the last two, that’s $22.75 billion we are paying through the tax code to make college tuition and student debt more manageable. This amount is in the middle the range of the cost of just making public high education free. Now these aren’t equivalent — much of what is spent through the tax code will be biased more towards private and professional schools, which are more expensive. But this also isn’t anywhere near the full extent we subsidize student debt (a government creation from 1965).

Basically, like many programs that we subsidize through some mixture of taxes and spending, we could just provide it free to the public.

But, of course can’t do that—free markets!

Hump-Day Song of the Week: Transmission by Joy Division

Um, this video is almost as awesome as the song. And that’s a high fucking bar.

Finally, some good news from the House

CC photo from the Marine Corps Archives & Special Collections

Holy shit, I can’t believe the Capitol doesn’t have a bust of Winston Churchill to show off. Sure, there’s one in the Ways and Means Committee hearing room, but that doesn’t count. Somebody get the fuck on this!

Oh, somebody has. Sure, while the House can’t pass a payroll tax cut extension, or anything worthwhile (except a resolution proclaiming that “In God We Trust” is still the national motto—take that commies!), it has taken up, and passed, a resolution demanding a bust of the British prime minister be erected. It’s the fourth bill that Speaker Boehner has sponsored since he became speaker.

This is awesome! Who needs jobs when we have old Winston?

In any case, it is fitting, since it was Churchill who once did say of his best friends the Americans: “We can always count on the Americans to do the right thing—after they have exhausted all the other possibilities.”

Get down like the Great Sun of The Nation

“Ain’t no party like a Pyongyang party, because a Pyongyang party is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY.”

Did you know that Kim Jong-il’s first title was Party Center (당중앙)?

Related: Kim Jong-il Droppin the Bass

The payroll tax cut extension: Where are we?

The House just rejected the Senate compromise bill that extends this year’s payroll tax cut for two months into 2012. Well, they didn’t so much reject it. Okay, this is complicated. Let’s see where we started, where we are, where we’re going, and how we got here.

First, let’s make one point clear: This whole mess has almost nothing to do with the payroll tax cut itself. Both sides agree it should be extended. The hullabaloo is over additions that Republicans want made to the bill. Riders, as many people call them. Most of them are completely unrelated to tax policy at all. But, we’ll get to that in a moment.

Remember last December’s lame-duck Congress? The one where a huge number of deals were made, mostly because everybody involved realized that with a radicalized Republican House about to take power, it would be the last chance for any deals? Well, among the many deals made was that payroll taxes (different from income taxes—yes, this shit is complicated—payroll taxes are what you pay out of your paycheck for Social Security and Medicare; you may see this as “FICA” on your pay stub) were cut by 2%. Not enough to really hurt the programs for which they fund (they tend to run surpluses—bet you didn’t know that!). But, enough to put a small amount of extra money in people’s pockets, especially since a lot of people were not getting raises in the new year.

The tax cut was made temporary, with the hope that the economy would rebound enough in the next year that everybody could easily go back to business as usual. Sadly, the economy didn’t pick up as much as hoped. You can pretty much blame Europe and a year full of Republicans shutting down the government/forcing default for that.

Regardless, at the end of the year, the payroll tax cut expires. So, the President and Congress decided that it should probably be extended for another year. Again: it’s not that much money in aggregate, but a small cushion for those out there who still aren’t getting raises, or at best getting small ones.

Watch how your small cost-of-living raise will go away if the cut expires. Using this calculator from the White House website, I plugged in a standard $45,000 salary for a married couple. They will pay $900 extra next year if the cut is not extended. If that salary is the result of a (generous) 2% cost-of-living raise, the raise ($900) is gone.

So, if everybody agrees that it should be extended, why isn’t it? Because Republicans in the House are demanding a number of additional pieces be added to the bill. For one, they’re obsessed and enamored with the Keystone XL oil sands pipe project, a pipeline that will go from the oil sands in Canada to refineries in the Gulf of Mexico. The administration has delayed permitting the project, citing the enormity of it and the potential environmental hazards, and the need for more research. Republicans claim it should be fast-tracked, claiming that the project will create a large number of jobs. In addition, they’re demanding that the extension be paid for by making cuts to discretionary spending, even though Congress just finally passed an appropriations bill this weekend. The problem, other than that, is that stimulus spending (whether it’s spending or chopping taxes: both are technically spending) should by its very nature not be immediately paid for.

Despite the impasse, Democrats and Republicans in the Senate worked this weekend to craft a compromise, which basically admits that some parts should be paid for and there maybe could be an early decision on Keystone, in exchange for two more months of payroll tax cut. Basically, to give it all some breathing room so a better compromise could be reached. It passed handily—89-10—and went to the House, where most leaders (including Speaker Boehner) expected it to also quickly pass.

Here’s some procedure: In order for it to pass by the end of the year, the House would have had to just plain accept the bill as passed by the Senate. Any amendment would send the bill to conference, where it could take weeks to work out: staffs have to be chosen, language needs to be ironed; it’s a sticky process.

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum, though: House Republicans were vehemently against the bill. Citing it’s short-term nature, they shot it down today. But, of course, the way they shot it down is also complicated.

See, no Republican wants to actually vote against a tax cut. So, this is what they did instead. Originally, it would be a standard “motion to concur,” which would pass the Senate bill as written. Instead, they voted on a “motion to reject,” which immediately sends the bill to conference. So, a “yes” vote is effectively a “no” vote. Indeed, they didn’t even vote on the bill, but a motion to reject the bill.

Confused yet? That’s what they’re hoping for.

What happens now is the House calls a number of votes on what they want out of the conference negotiations (if there are any). The House and Senate then appoint members to the conference committee, which would theoretically meet over the holiday recess, during which time members would just go home. However, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has suggested that Senate Democrats may not take part in the conference unless the House passes the two-month extension.

Isn’t Congress fun?

Greeks not lazy—that’s the Germans you’re thinking of

Writes Matt Ygelsias:

It’s true that Germans and Greeks work very different amounts, but not in the way you expect. According to the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development, the average German worker put in 1,429 hours on the job in 2008. The average Greek worker put in 2,120 hours. In Spain, the average worker puts in 1,647 hours. In Italy, 1,802. The Dutch, by contrast, outdo even their Teutonic brethren in laziness, working a staggeringly low 1,389 hours per year.

….

The truth is that countries aren’t rich because their people work hard. When people are poor, that’s when they work hard. Platitudes aside, it takes considerably more “effort” to be a rice farmer or to move sofas for a living than to be a New York Times columnist. It’s true that all else being equal a person can often raise his income by raising his work rate, but it’s completely backward to suggest that extraordinary feats of effort are the way individuals or countries get to the top of the ladder. On the national level the reverse happens—the richer Germans get, the less they work.

It’s a pretty standard American expectation, grounded partially in the old “protestant work ethic,” that if you’re rich you worked harder, or more, than the poor, who clearly aren’t working hard enough, or else they’d be rich. But, in reality, it’s always the other way around: it’s hard work being poor, and if you’re rich, it’s probably dumb luck.

So-called extra virgin olive oil sometimes not even olive oil, forget about virgin

Imported olive oil is not a heavily regulated business. It’s not even really regulated much at all. And here’s the result, reports Tom Philpott:

Researchers found that 69 percent of imported extra virgin olive oils sampled from California supermarkets failed to meet requirements to merit that label. Interestingly, 90 percent of the California-produced samples did. I guess the California olive oil industry is too young and immature to realize the benefits of fraud; the Europeans have been adulterating olive oil since Roman times, Mueller reports.

But—free markets!

Oh good Christ

One day after the last American troops left Iraq, an arrest warrant has been issued for Iraqi Vice President Tariq al-Hasimi, a Sunni, that accuses him of terrorism.

This is important because the Prime Minister, Nuri al-Maliki, is Shia, and there is significant strife between the Sunni minority and the Shiite-led government:

Iraqiya, a powerful political bloc that draws support largely from Sunni and more secular Iraqis, said it was boycotting Parliament, a move that threatens to shatter Iraq’s fragile power-sharing government.

The move pits the largely Sunni and secular coalition against the government of Shiite Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki.

Iraqiya contends al-Maliki is trying to amass dictatorial power, and many believe al-Maliki was simply waiting for the Americans to leave before making his move.

One day. One fucking day.

Louis CK headling next year’s RTCA dinner

Louis CK, the great comic who’s currently on top of his game, has been selected to headline next year’s Radio and Television Correspondent’s Dinner. Awesome.

Morning Constitutional – Monday, 19 December 2011

Holy crap we’re back (probably temporarily) and good morning, everybody. The issue of Playboy featuring Lindsay Lohan is breaking sales records according to Hugh Hefner. Now, your morning constitutional:

Party Center, Dear Leader, Father of the People, Guiding Sun Ray, Great Man Who Descended From Heaven, Leader of the Party and People, Bright Sun of the 21st Century, Sun of Socialism, Leader of the Revolutionary Armed Forces Kim Jong-il has died of a heart attack. His 25-year-old and relatively unknown son, Kim Jong-un, is expected to take power.

Revolutionary playwright and former Czech President Vaclav Havel passed away this weekend at 75.

The last American troops left Iraq Sunday, as the war in Iraq finally comes to a close.

The House opposes a two-month payroll tax cut extension compromise that passed the Senate this weekend. House opposition is rooted in the short-term nature of the extension. Yet, the short-term extension was necessary because the House is demanding an unrelated provision that would force the administration to grant a permit for the Keystone XL oil sands pipeline, which the administration and Senate Democrats oppose. The payroll tax cut will end at the end of the year if no deal is reached, which could hurt the already slowly-recovering economy.

When Republicans aren’t blocking nominees for one economic regulatory agency, they’re blocking others: Indeed, while Senate Republicans successfully blocked Robert Cordray’s nomination to head up the new Consumer Protection Bureau, the stalemate also stopped the Senate from approving nominees to head the FDIC and the Office of the Comptroller. Oh, and they’re trying to make sure there isn’t enough money to efficiently implement Frank-Dodd banking reform.

Tensions between the Pakistani army and its civilian government has forced President Asif Ali Zardari to return home from Dubai early.

Syria has signed onto an Arab League plan that allows observers to monitor an effort to end Syria’s crackdown on anti-government protesters.

Four months later, how stupid was it for S&P to downgrade the U.S. credit rating?

Holy crap, Ron Paul is now the Iowa front-runner.

Even though Romney retired from Bain Capital 13 years ago, they’re still paying him millions of dollars each year.

ABC cut four minutes of the famously anti-commercial ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ to make room for more commercials. Here’s ten things you may not know about ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

Finally, one of a pair of robbers in Madison accidentally butt-dialed 911, making their arrest super easy for police.