Morning Constitutional – Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Good morning, everybody. Ricky’s gay, Sandra’s dumping Jesse, but, worry not!, Heidi and Spencer are staying together. Now, your morning constitutional:

President Obama will sign changes to student lending into law today. The changes will replace the current system of the government giving loans through private lenders and instead provide loans directly to students.

The CERN Large Hadrom Collider succeeded Tuesday morning in colliding particles at three times the highest energy levels ever recorded. Of course, I have absolutely no idea what that means.

Members of the League for Democracy Party in Myanmar voted to skip the country’s first elections in two decades in protest of what they see as an unfair election. New election laws forbid political prisoners from running in the election, which would include Aung San Suu Ki, the Burmese democratic icon, because she is in prison.

President Obama held a Passover Seder with Jewish friends and White House workers last night.

The Republican National Committee fired a staffer who organized a $1,946 visit to a S&M-themed strip club, the latest in a series of questionable spending episodes by the RNC.

FiveThirtyEight on how UK poll numbers show that the race is impossible to read at this stage.

Students in a chorus class perform a provocative dance routine. The chorus teacher is charged with corruption of minors. The students are charged with public indecency. True story.

Nine members of the militia group Hutaree face charges of conspiracy and attempting use weapons of mass destruction.

President Obama will throw the first pitch at Nationals Park on opening day.

Finally, can magnets sway ones moral compass?

Contact Poplicola at poplicola@veritiesandvagaries.com